I’ve heard talk about this ‘lifestyle’ but didn’t think about it much. Now I have a boyfriend who wants to do ‘only anal’. It can feel good for me, but all the time? He says it’s the normal progression for when u get this serious. I can see how it can be more intimate but can it really work for bf/gf? And why do you strongly encourage people to do so?

It absolutely can work for a couple, and there are a lot of boyfriends/girlfriends as well as married couples out there who are anal only together. However, you should do it because you both want to, or at least both want to try it. It’s never something that should be forced or pressured if one partner is uninterested. Encouragement, expressing a desire to do it, and asking a partner to try it is fine, but not unwanted pressure.

I encourage people to go anal only for many reasons, some of which you’ve already touched on:

  • It’s more intimate. It’s most people’s most private part of their body, and not only sharing it with your partner but making that sharing of it the primary part of your sex life together is a very loving and intimate expression of your trust and connection.
  • It feels better. Anal sex has the potential to be a lot more pleasurable than vaginal, and doing it very regularly or replacing vaginal with it in order to focus on anal pleasure is a great way to get into the right rhythm and routine for it to feel great and always be warmed up and ready for it.
  • It’s natural birth control. What’s not to love about that?
  • It’s sexier. Anal sex is very aesthetically pleasing and there’s just something absolutely beautiful about the visual side of it. Beyond that, though, it’s also a very sexy idea for a lot of people, the idea of focusing on anal instead of vaginal appeals to many in a sexy way.
  • It’s a shift away from reproductive urges driving sex to a focus purely on mutual pleasure and intimacy. Sex is rarely about procreation, yet people keep using the vagina despite anal having other benefits. Since anal done right feels better, shifting away from vaginal to just anal offers a lot for this mindset.

I’d encourage you to give it a try with your boyfriend. You don’t have to commit to it long term just yet—try it for a month or two and see how it goes from there. Most people find after a month of anal only that their concerns about it were a bit overblown and that they don’t actually miss vaginal sex, and it’s easy to just keep going.

Either way, good luck!