I would very much like my wife to ignore (and allow me to ignore) her vagina/clitoris when we have anal sex. I think it would be more proper somehow if we could just focus on the beautiful anal connection we have instead, but I’ve been feeling a mixture of guilt and awkwardness so haven’t told her what I want. I wish I had more confidence but don’t think it’s too unreasonable as at other times I pay attention to her pussy. Any ideas how to approach this?

Rather than framing it as a “negative”, e.g., wanting to ignore her pussy, approach it as a “positive”: how much you love her ass, how sexy it is, how good it feels, and that you want to focus more on it. Make her ass feel good, and make her feel good about it, and she’ll probably want to do more anal, and you can just keep gradually transitioning towards an anal focus together. As this happens over time, you can start talking about it more and reinforcing it with conversation.